To change!

Alright, alright, alright.


So, if you've known me for any amount of time you are familiar with the fact that I am an emotional person.  A very emotional person.


I realize emotion isn't all bad but it usually gets in the way more than it helps out.  I know this from firsthand experience and I've realized it more ever since I met Drew and especially since we've been engaged.


I get my feelings hurt very easily.  I cry way too much and over silly things.  I get angry fast.  And almost constantly feel misunderstood.  These are all the negative sides of emotion and I see these more often than I see the positives.


I've realized for awhile that I need to get this in check if I want to have the kind of marriage I've always longed for.  And not only that, if I simply want to live a happy life I need to change!  Anytime I screw up and let my emotions take control I get so upset with myself and end up extremely unhappy for the rest of the day.


So, do I want to be a happy Promise? Yes! Now it's time to make a change!


This brings me to my next subject:


A few months ago my Mom gave me a book called Managing Your Emotions.  It took me awhile to pick it up but I finally started reading it a few days ago and, man, is it good!  One excerpt from the book cracks me up and I'll probably end up using it at some point... probably the next time Drew and I have a heated discussion. lol


"One time, when I was trying to learn to control my mouth and not talk back to my husband, I got so emotional the Lord had to say to me, 'Joyce, that's enough!  Don't you say another word!' I hurriedly left the room, ran down the hall, and locked myself in the bathroom.  I was so upset I buried my face in a towel and screamed into it!"


If that's what I have to do I will do it!  I just want to be a more pleasant human being.  I do talk back to Drew and sometimes other people.  And I'm kind of spoiled... if I don't get my way I will pout or get angry or cry like a little baby and "stomp" off to my room.  How childish!  And it's all because I allow my emotions to guide me.  I let them determine the way I will act in that situation, instead of manning up and taking control.


It's rather embarrassing to admit these things but isn't that what they say: the first step is admitting you have a problem?  If so then awesome, I have conquered the first step.


And now... the trial begins!